


Bandaids and Bad Habits

by dvrkrai



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: (dont worry its not too graphic or anything!!), Bandaids, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Romantic Relationship, all i know is that they be in love babey, au maybe?? who knows, izuru big sad, makoto is a mom friend, unwanted thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 23:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17456219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvrkrai/pseuds/dvrkrai
Summary: kamukura sometimes isn't that big of a fan of himself//an old semi-vent fic i found nksdgnkdfg enjoy, gays.





	Bandaids and Bad Habits

**Author's Note:**

> NDJAKFNKS yea i found this in my docs and thought to actually yknow, upload it.  
> god im such an idiot
> 
> anyways uh, it was kinda a minor vent thing??? bUT DONT WORRY IM ALL GOOD  
> it was from awhile ago anyways  
> like, june 29th, 2018 awhile ago  
> enjoy smooch

He couldn't stand these little imperfections about himself. These little pieces of him that weren't aligned properly, or just didn't fit. These little scratches, little picks and nicks in his fingers is what upset him the most. Scabs formed where he had nervously picked at just mere days ago, he always had been quick to recover from any injury.  
Little indents, little physical annoyances in his, what should have been, perfect condition. Succumbing to nervous and anxiety induced habits was almost disgraceful, he didn't need to feel these emotions, he never needed them.  
**Pick, pick, pick.**  
Emotions got in the way of more important matters, it's what he's been told his entire life. As Izuru Kamukura, he couldn't be bothered with such idiotic trivial impulses. Human nature has always been imperfect just by its existence.  
**Pick, pick, pick.**  
He was growing more aggressive in his work, the annoyed scabs started chipping off slowly, and irritated red skin pulsed underneath. This was below him, all of it was, this is just some defective trait of brain chemistry. Chemical imbalances that were out of his control, little acids that impacted him so much.  
It's idiotic, all of it.  
He just wanted to tear it all off.  
_'Tear it off,'_  
It's all that coursed through his panicked pulsed thoughts.  
_'Tear it off.'_  
Louder, this time. Louder, louder, louder-  
_'Tear it off, tear it off, TEAR IT OFF TEAR IT ALL OFF IT'S IMPERFECT,'_  
**'IMPERFECT IMPERFECT, NOT ENOUGH RIP IT ALL TO SHREDS OFF OFF OFF-'**  
"I-Izuru! You're bleeding!" A voice cut through the panicked, screaming thoughts that raced through his brain.  
Looking up, away from his imperfect hands, Naegi was next to him, shock written across his small features. Before he could even say anything, the smaller of the two grabbed his hand, surprisingly gentle in his efforts. It didn't take long for the realization to hit him.  
"You've been picking at yourself again-"  
"It's nothing." Kamakura interrupted him, voice and tone flat as always. Uninterested, unphased.  
"It is certainly not nothing!" Naegi pushed, "This isn't healthy at all, you know that. Your hands are going to scar if you keep doing this to them."  
_'They are imperfect, let them,'_  
"It's fine, no one will care for little scars on such an unimportant surface." He still faced the hope filled boy, but he couldn't bring himself to look him in the eyes. He knew that pleading stare all too well.  
"But I do," Naegi sighed.  
He momentarily let go off the taller boy's hand, reaching into his hoodie's pocket. Naegi had always been a worry wart for the people he cared about, it only became normal that he started keeping a set of band aids with him whenever the situation called for. The little pieces of fabric were useless, they don't even help with any physical injury at all, it's all a placebo effect.  
An effect that Kamukura grown numb too.  
Naegi began peeling off the plastic undercoating of the little aids, and wrapping them around the now blood dried finger.  
"You are fully aware those are useless, right?" Kamukura questioned, he actually was growing a bit annoyed. "They don't really offer any medical value."  
Naegi ignored his words, one after another, another bandaid covered another little nick in his skin.  
_'You don't deserve this, imperfections don't deserve attention like this,'_  
Wonderful, his thoughts were at it again. Damn those chemical imbalances.  
"There, that should be enough." He sounded rather relieved. Several band aids covered where he once bled, wrapping over and under each other.  
"You know these will do nothing, they have no medical value." Kamukura felt like a record on repeat, and Naegi was the listener that never actually paid attention.  
"Yeah well, at least they'll keep you from picking at them any time soon." His little voice was robust in resolve. "It'll hurt like hell to get those little dudes off."  
...  
"It's almost astounding how often you forget I have a high pain tolerance." Kamukura sounded almost comically flat on that part. Even Naegi flinched a bit at his own forgetfulness.  
"Well- Okay, maybe so." He chuckled lightly. "But it's the thought that counts, right?"  
_'He's too compassionate for someone as unfeeling as you.'_  
"I suppose so, yes." He felt the sides of his mouth quirk a bit in a short lived smile.  
Naegi soon gently took his hands once more, soft thumbs running over those vile little surfaces.  
_'Disgusting that he cares so much about something like you.'_  
They both sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, the lucky student's touch was so... gentle, on the older student's hands. His compassionate and caring nature was always something that Kamukura could never get a grip on, his selfless personality and ways were something that was a rarity in people. Selfishness always underlined people's methods and words, but Naegi was the only person he has found devoid of that.  
Maybe that's what amused him so much about the over optimistic boy. Perhaps that what kept him around.  
_'Do you deserve such actions?'_  
Maybe he doesn't, in the long run of his life and the things he's done, he didn't deserve the smaller boy's unending kindness.  
But it was going to take a lot to convince Makoto of that.  
"Hey, you know I care about you right?" Naegi spoke now, voice compassionate and soft.  
"You don't let me forget." No really, he doesn't. Naegi is always filled with love to sprinkle onto Kamukura.  
Naegi laughed, genuinely as well.  
"Good! Because I hope you never do." He embraced the other for a moment, firm and tight. It took him a moment, but the older boy did reciprocate, awkwardly at that.  
Maybe he does deserve someone like Naegi.  
His thoughts are silent for once, and it's a graceful period for him to relish in.

**Author's Note:**

> i know its not that big of a ship but GODDAMN IT IZURU/MAKOTO IS BIG SOFT
> 
> EDIT:: my tumblr is @dvrkrai !!


End file.
